This poem is the outcome of a writing workshop I attended in mid-2016.

I’m good at sitting by a window, staring blankly at an iridescent sky /
I’m not good at looking people in the eye

I used to think about the future as an obscure, unattainable being /
Now I go between past and present like Phoenix passes from death to life to death again

I am talented and honest and good /
I am not talented or honest or good

If you held my hand, I would stare at our touching skin in a disassociated daze /
Then I’d close my fingers around your hand, smile, and pretend I feel your heat

I like it when the sun goes down and the world is shrouded in darkness and mystery /
I don’t like darkness or mysteries

I know the life cycle of a butterfly /
I know nothing about my own

I admire the ways in which the earth gives life to such beautiful things /
I don’t respect that as much as I should

I believe in fairytales and magic and the power of love /
I don’t believe in myself

Raelee Lancaster