President Trump Paraphrased (in haiku)*

More than a year of President Trump in the White House and I found these ten haiku’s that I wrote for fun just before the 2016 election.
*Inspired by and paraphrased from real Donald Trump quotes.

1.

I will build a wall.
A great, big, huge, enormous,
massive, mammoth wall.

2.

I have said that if
Ivanka weren’t my daughter,
I would fuck date her.

3.

It is so, so cold
in New York – I need global
warming. And a coat.

4.

The beauty of me
is that I am very rich
and I … nope, that’s it.

5.

Robert Pattinson
should totes dump Kristen Stewart;
she cheated. Team Edward.

6.

Politics is a
disgrace; good people don’t go
into government.

7.

My fingers are long
and beautiful. As are
other parts of my body 😉

8.

I have high IQ.
Don’t feel stupid. Not your fault.
Me Tarzan. You Jane.

9.

Yes, I have gay friends;
but I have zero respect
for them or their rights.

10.

“Obama’s birth cert.
is a fraud” – an extremely
credible source. Maybe.