President Trump Paraphrased (in haiku)*

More than a year of President Trump in the White House and I found these ten haiku’s that I wrote for fun just before the 2016 election.
*Inspired by and paraphrased from real Donald Trump quotes.


I will build a wall.
A great, big, huge, enormous,
massive, mammoth wall.


I have said that if
Ivanka weren’t my daughter,
I would fuck date her.


It is so, so cold
in New York – I need global
warming. And a coat.


The beauty of me
is that I am very rich
and I … nope, that’s it.


Robert Pattinson
should totes dump Kristen Stewart;
she cheated. Team Edward.


Politics is a
disgrace; good people don’t go
into government.


My fingers are long
and beautiful. As are
other parts of my body 😉


I have high IQ.
Don’t feel stupid. Not your fault.
Me Tarzan. You Jane.


Yes, I have gay friends;
but I have zero respect
for them or their rights.


“Obama’s birth cert.
is a fraud” – an extremely
credible source. Maybe.


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